Updated: Mar 9, 2021
An excerpt from my book, One Mom to Another.
Dayne taught me we are all the same.
As a young man, Blake completed two years of missionary service for our church in South Africa.
It was early in his mission when he attended his first funeral. His missionary companion explained the African tradition of all the men at the funeral helping to fill in the grave while the women sang. His companion said, “It doesn’t matter who you are, or how expensive your suit is, you grab a shovel and help fill the grave.”
And so, two days after his birth, we buried Dayne in the South Africa tradition. I watched with great emotion as Blake lay on his stomach, in his suit, and gently placed the small coffin into the ground.
And then, while we all sang the hymn “God Be with You Till We Meet Again,” all of the men filled in the grave.
Just like those who fill the grave in South Africa- it doesn't matter who we are, regardless of our life circumstances, we are all the same. We are all God’s children. No one is immune from earthly trials and sorrows. But as we slip into the dark shadows of grief, we might say, “If God loved me, He wouldn’t allow this to happen. If this doesn’t happen to others, He must love them more than me.” Our earthly sojourn, our moment of time, is not a test of God’s love for us. He has proven His love. Our moment of time is for us to prove ourselves to God. Even in the depths of loss, grief and despair. No one is outside of God’s healing reach. “Surely he hath borne our grief and carried our sorrows.” Blessings are not hoarded and parceled out bit by bit according to God’s pleasure, but He gives them freely and in abundance to all of us if we will lean on Him.